The 10 Definitions of What Every Woman Wants

Written by L. Jermiane Copyright 2007 through 2008

1. Touch Without Motive: This is when you can simply touch your woman with no hidden intention, and nothing sexual as the motive. When you can walk up behind your woman and gently massage her shoulders while you place a soft kiss upon her cheek right before you whisper "Good morning". That in itself will cause that woman to want, need, and desire you in a way that only "sexual" touching cannot. We as men have to learn how to hold, caress, and comfort our women with the strength of our arms and warmth of our masculinity. Your woman should be able to simply lie with and/or under you without being mauled 5 minutes later. Emotional touch yields far better results than sexual touch alone.

2. Attention Without Obligation: Attention without obligation is the most simple to form as habit out of all the definitions I present. Basically it means to be attentive to your woman without feeling that you have to be. Men tend to show affection and/or some form of attention after a heated discussion has taken place as to why he doesn't already. This will last until the effects of the discussion wear off, and then he's back to his normal way of response. It is in a man's nature to show real attention to and passion for those things which are most important to him. We pay attention our favorite sports although we have no obligation to the team, yet we can't pay that same degree of attention to our women just because they deserve it? I question why that is.

3. A Safe Place Without Worry: Our culture has produced women who have become strong, independent, self-sufficient, and very well capable of handling their own business and taking care of themselves, without a man to do so for her. Times have definitely changed over the past 50 years and the June Cleavers of the world are a dying breed, although they still exist, and I respectfully commend the homemakers. I say all of that to say that still, no matter how self sufficient and/or successful, every woman desires to have someone there, that she has enough trust invested in, that she can run to and find escape from the stresses of her day to day life. A quiet and serene atmosphere, equipped with dinner, a bubble bath, and a peaceful night's sleep in your arms is sometimes all that woman needs to feel safe, and without fear, anxiety, or worry.

4. A Point of "Weakness" Without Concern: Women are the strongest of all of God's creations, and we know this, rather we admit to it or not. The feminine nature has a tolerance for pain that far surpasses any level that a man can imagine. This strength is not always present in the physical sense of build and/or muscle mass. This strength is more prevalent in a woman's capabilities physically and emotionally. From child birth, to monthly menstruation, to dealing with heartache, single motherhood, and so many other things that women tend to face more often than the average man does. With that in mind, commend your woman on being strong but also be strong enough to be her point of weakness when she needs you to be. All it takes is you being there, and her knowing that no matter what she may face and/or have to be concerned with, she has a man she can run to, let her guards down with, release her weary soul into, and find refreshment with. Women thirst for men who are strong enough to handle and take care of her when she feels the need to be weak, looked after, and cared for a little more than the normal amount of "caring" on any given day.

5. Prayer Without Ceasing: I believe that a woman admires and esteems a man who knows how to pray over her, and their family if they share one together. This is neither a question of religion nor a question of the god that you may serve. This simply means that you should know how to go before the Lord in prayer for your woman and family. To simply lay your hands upon your woman's head, right before she wakes and right after she lies down to sleep, and say a soft prayer is an amazing feeling for that woman to experience. Some women have never experienced it, and therefore they won't understand this point. But there is truth to it, and once it is experienced her love for you will blossom immensely. And just a side note; for a woman to see you lay your hands upon the head of a child who was fathered by another man, who may or may not be in the picture, is a most beautiful sight to behold. For that, she will fall even deeper for you. For you to take the accountability upon yourself, before God, for a child that's not yours by the standpoint of blood, will soften that woman's heart for you to degrees I cannot even comprehend. I just know it to be true.

6. Compassion Without Question: A woman should never have to question rather or not her man has compassion for her. Compassion is not love, compassion is not "deep sex", and compassion is not sacrificial. Now compassion does involve love because it is birthed from it, but it goes beyond love, not to say that it's stronger, it's just different from it. Deep, slow, melodic sex has nothing to do with compassion, although compassion can lead you to that. Sacrifice is with reason, compassion must come without it. Compassion is a man's ability to cry with and for his woman when she's hurting. Compassion is noticing that your woman is hurting without her even telling you. Compassion is the two of you sharing such an emotional connection that God himself speaks to you concerning her well being. Compassion is having a heart that feels your woman's heart rather close or from a distance. Compassion is when you can feel that woman in your very soul, and the feeling causes you to cry because of the depth in which you understand her, and thus understand yourself.

7. Passion, Foreplay, and MorePlay: Most women, not all, require more than the act of sex to be completely satisfied. The act of sex can be a beautiful experience rather intense or soft, extreme or normal, fast or with a slower pace. The atmosphere and acts surrounding the actual intercourse mean so much more than the intercourse itself. My own personal definition of intercourse is the act if entering into a course of pleasure that will ultimately blow that woman's very mind, each and every time. When you involve passion, foreplay, and moreplay the act of sex becomes addictive to a point that she will crave you, desire you, want you, need you, and chase that ultimate high every time that she is with you. And it is your responsibility as a man to supply that high and so many others every time she shares her body with you. When a woman has sex with you she allows you to enter into her, and that in itself is a privilege that we as men take for granted. Just think about it for a moment; a woman is allowing you to enter into her. That indeed is amazing to me. Therefore you have to be passionate with and attentive to her body, utilize the elements of foreplay and stimulating all of her senses. Moreplay is simple; take her beyond your orgasm. It's selfless and not selfish. Meaning, do not let the scene conclude just because you have an orgasm. Take her further and allow her the pleasure and opportunity of sweet surrender to those sexual things unfamiliar.

8. For You To Just Listen: This is self explanatory, and so easy to accomplish yet we as men tend to have a problem mastering this act. Sometimes all your woman wants is for you to listen. Give her your ear, undivided attention, and patience as she talks with you about anything from how her day went to where she feels she is going as a woman, to where she sees your relationship headed. If more men took the time to listen to our women, we would better understand them, value them, esteem them, and our women would be much happier than they are. All it takes is you listening to her, responding when you need to or not at all if she doesn't need you to. It is possible to listen without response, and sometimes that works best. Sometimes all she needs to do is vent, so let her.

9. Responsibility Without Conflict: This one is age-old and most needed in today's relationships. Men, and I use the term loosely with this definition, have become lazy and we have become more caught up in hip hop fantasies, and video games than we are in being a responsible, hard working, and mature man. Men lack responsibility from the simplest things like taking out the trash, cutting the grass, and washing the dishes, to the more serious issues such as providing financial stability, emotional security, and taking care of your children rather you are with that woman or not. What happened to us, as men? And where have all the real men disappeared to? The men who know how and when to be aggressive. The men who know when it's time to compromise and when it's time to be immovable. The men who know how to be soft, sensitive, and attentive, but they also know how to take charge, and take care of home. Why is there a conflict between men and women when a woman questions our lack of real responsibility?

10. Love, Without Condition: Love without condition is the most powerful form of love there is. In today's society we use the word love too loosely, and we don't really mean it when we say it. Love without condition is the hardest form to master because human nature tells us to hold grudges, be unforgiving, cheat when not satisfied, and be all for self. There is no greater feeling to experience, but there is no harder emotion to develop. We tend to be too cynical and judgmental at times to develop this form of love. Love without condition overpowers our very nature in the fact that you will die for that person if you have to, and you will live for that person because you want to.

Back again for the first time...

I'd forgotten I had this blog, hence the time betwixt posts...I'm gonna try to post more stuff. I may even put some of my long lost poetry on here, and for folks that know me, that's a big step. But I hope to be more active and write down stuff...stuff that bothers me, stuff I'm happy about, just stuff that happens in my life. I read someplace that its supposed to be theraputic...LOL.

Game Ova

Current mood: quixotic ( I don't know what it means, but it looks cool!!)
A good friend of mine and I had a convo the other day. When I asked her about a certain gentleman that she had dated, loved, lost, reconciled with--well, you get the picture--before she got married, she said something so profound (at least in my mind) I had to write about it. She said that her being so crazy over him was like an obsession with a video game. She really thought it was love, or some close manifestation, when it actually was her desire to win--him being the prize. She kept playing, over and over, trying to get him to do what she wanted him to do--which in her case, was to fall back in love with her. However, once she realized what she was doing, she just quit. Its like, do you really want this person, or do you just want to say you won? She just wanted to win, and when she realized that, she gave up the game.

Now me...in a similar situation...I'm calling match. As much as I'm ticked that he can even provoke me to write something like this, its gotta be done. I quit. I played that game because I wanted to be with someone that had all the points on my checklist. But I forgot a few (silly me!). Like courage, and honesty, not just a big stiff one.

So that's it. Not gonna be friends, cutty buddies, a couple. Nunna dat.
~TWOS~

A Room Full of Sisters

A room full of sisters like jewels in a crown
Vanilla, Cinnamon, and Dark Chocolate Brown...
Now picture yourself in the midst of this glory
As I describe the sisters who are part of this story.
They were wearing purples, royal blues and all shades of red
Some had elegant hats on their heads.
With sparkling eyes and shiny lips
They moved through the room swaying their hips.
Speaking with smiles on their beautiful faces
Their joy and laughter filled all the spaces
They were fashionable in what they were wearing
Kind sisters who were loving and caring.
You see, it's not about how these sisters appeared
Their beauty was in the values they revered.
They were smart, articulate and well-read
With all kinds of history stored in their heads
Jugglers of professions, managers of lives
Mothers of children, lovers and wives
Good-hearted, reaching out to others
Giving back to the community and supporting their brothers.
All of these sisters struggled the path
Suffered from prejudice, endured the wrath.
But they brushed off their dresses and pushed on the door
And they came back stronger than they were before.
Now, imagine if you will
The essence and the thrill
As you stand feeling proud
In the heart of this crowd
A sisterhood of modern Sojourners today
Still out in front, blazing the way.
A room full of sisters, like jewels in a crown
Vanilla, Cinnamon, and Dark Chocolate Brown.
by Mona Lake Jones

Marinate on these for a minute....
Current mood: thoughtful

This is just something to think about....

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

This is a poem that I stole from someone's FB page...I WISH my poems were that good! But I dig this....

DIAMOND
1 day he realized he was missing out on something,
Something that was good,
Something that was worth the keep,
Something of more value than any treasure he thought he'd seek,
Valued far 2 high 2 B bought or used,
Something like this U cherish, throw away the jewels,
Because what Uve got is tarnished and abused,
With the capability of pleasing only a few,
U dont want anything thats effete and run down,
Something that puts U 2 shame when Ure walking through town,
U need something U can hold up high and B proud of
Something that has enough value 2 replace the crystals on your crown,
What U have compares 2 a house with no walls,
A tunnel with no end,A picture with no frame,
And a towel that needs 2 be thrown N,
Diamond a rare element,
Beautiful and unique,
Been dropped a few times,
But held together N 1 peace,
Has a use of many,
But many have not used,
Appealing 2 many eyes,
2 weak, I blinded U,
Your elements have no definition,
Put me on a shelf,
Ill let everyone see,
I define myself!
It won't be long B4 we see how long this treasure lasts,
When youre lonely, remember,
U had a diamond, but left it N your past.

Gotta dig you, man...
Current mood: determined

So, I'm here at work...not working...HA!...and I really had to take a minute. I've been sort of in MOURNING for a relationship that ended before it began....feeling sorry for myself and wishin' this cat would come back and admit how stupid he was. He should come back professing his undying love and shouting 'Bump that hoe!'
Sorry, detour from reality....but nonetheless, I was just thinking how terrific I am! Bear with me now, 'cause I'm sure I sound conceited and I'm really not....but I do have alot going for me. Besides the fact that as a child of GOD, I'm shown favor every morning I rise and when I make to the end of the day to lay down....I'm intelligent, ambitious, big-hearted, well-mannered, socially aware, culturally conscious, and about a billion other adjectives and adverbs. Not to mention easy on the eyes. ;-)
So I can continue to be down in the dumps, or I can pick myself up, dust off, pop my colla and try again! Yeah, yeah...that's just what I'm gonna do.

~TWOS~

What do you think?
Current mood: irritated

I have a question: why is it that a guy swears that you are the ish...better than sliced bread, but when you want to get serious, they take off like Marion Jones!?! Even when they bring the shit up!! I wasn't THINKIN' 'bout no commitiment!!! So you sold the dream, and then you bounce?? Men, SOMEBODY, EXPLAIN!

Damn, it's hard being a woman!
Current mood: annoyed

Did you ever think about all the different sh*t we go through as women!?!? I mean, I'm sure we've all b*tched about one torture or another that we have to deal wit, but have you ever thought about ALL of them? We have to fry our hair with chemicals and hot irons to tame our locks. We pluck hairs our of our faces; that is, if we aren't pouring hot wax on the hair and yanking it out. We wax our legs, underarms, and sometimes that very delicate hair down there. We inhale chemicals as our fingers and toenails are ground, cut, clipped and pulled. We wear underwire bras and thong underwear. We wear heels. To top it all off, there's that God issued right to bleed once a month, and squeeze children (5-10lbs) from an opening that dialates to the size of a small orange. (10cm) I feel like I need some sort of reparations! Can a sista get disability!?! And they want to call us the 'weaker sex'? HA!

When you know....
Current mood: contemplative

What do you do when you know someone is not right for you? This person can be all that you've ever said that you wanted, and it just doesn't feel right, what do you do? Conversely, what do you do when your heart is bruised from past encounters, and the one you are with deserves more than what you can give? Do you fight to free your heart from the chains you've put on it, or do you let that person go, because you care too much for them to put them thru your bullsh*t??

Randomness...
Current mood: contemplative

Well, I'm just in the mood to write, so I'm writing. It's so funny how:

Guys are always amazed that I'm single, but they never want to be in a committed relationship......

As busy as you are, you can still be bored....

Even surrounded in a room full of friends, you can still feel lonely....

Everyone always says you will find what you are looking for when you least expect it...but all the people sayin' that are already in relationships..LOL...

Seems as if you are runnin' as fast as you can--just to stay in the same place...

That's all the randomness I have for now...I guess I'd better get on this homework...so is my life!
~TWOS~