hello Devyne

Devyne

 

https://www.google.com/search?q=tbuchanon.famuan1@blogger.com

 

 

 

 

 

Tamorra

 

fwd:

hi


http://www.riksten.com.mx/stress.php?hehvr=TKP4201


Tamorra Buchanon

How is THAT for a Hiatus?!?!

Yep. I was gone for a minute, now I'm back with the jumpoff...oh, wait...

So...I stopped blogging for a minute for a few reasons: 

1.) I'm in law school. 

B.) I'm a bum that can't use to much brain power at once, even at rest. 

III.)I tweet EVERYTHING. EV-VER-RAY-THANG?? EVERYTHING. 

So my hip, socio-political, cultural and fabulousness was missing from the blog, but not from the internets.
I suggest you holla at a playa on:

• Twitter: I tweet all kinda stuff. Cultural, political, religious, motivational...I'm well rounded like that. *smize*
• Tumblr: Yeah so...I'm a lazy Tumblr (kinda like I'm a lazy Blogger) so I tend to reblog a LOT. But, 'tis entertaining!! And I find new folks to follow on Tumblr when folks I follow reblog, so...its community service, really. :-)
• My OTHER Blogger blog: That one is a tad more candid (read: RATCHET) so if you wanna check me out over there, send me a message and I'll give you the address. 

Yeah. I'm about to bounce. I know. I'm rude. Hit cha with the HEEEEE and dipped. SMDH. But, I'mma be back #doe. I promise!!

Bored....

I am utterly bored. The Nappy City has done it yet again. I hate it here. I swearfoLAWD, if my family didn't live here, I would NEVA return. This is where dreams and ambition come to DIE!! Its cold, dreary and hood. I have ZERO motivation to study. If it wasn't for the fact that Thanksgiving is Thurs, I would leave TOMORROW. I still may get up early and leave. I'm just happier in the South. As lonely as I may be this Christmas, at least I can go do stuff. I'll hit the outlet. Go to a movie. And it won't be cold as hell.
**sigh**
Commencing countdown until I leave this Godforsaken city...

New Research Shatters Myths and Provides New Hope for Black Love and Marriage

New Research Shatters Myths and Provides New Hope for Black Love and Marriage

Great Read!!!!

New Research Shatters Myths and Provides New Hope for Black Love and Marriage

Monday, August 8, 2011

Discuss This

By Ivory A. Toldson, Ph.D., and Bryant Marks, Ph.D.

When analyzing the black women who are 35 and older, the percent who have never been married drops to 25 percent, indicating that a solid majority of black women get married before they turn 35.

Do educated black women have a slim chance of getting married due to adearth of equally successful black men? We often hear this opinion debatedin the black community, especially in urban centers with large populationsof young black professionals such as Atlanta, GA and Washington, DC. Many successful black women are pessimistic about their chances of finding love, and believe they need to compromise their preferences or virtues in order to find a mate. Contrarily, many successful black men arenoncommittal in courtship because they believe they are a "rarecommodity." Other black men may deal with residual doubts about their competence and worth, amid the prevailing notion that they are failing tocontribute to the black family, the black community or society.

Meanwhile, entrepreneurial elements of America have found a variety ofcreative ways to benefit financially from black females' anxieties at the expense of black males' egos. Preachers, entertainers turned relationshipexperts, filmmakers and news documentaries have manipulated statistics to stoke the fear necessary to selltheir preferred cut-rate brand of catharsis or solace.

In this article, we examine the question, "Are there enough successful black men for the black women who want them?" For all of our analyses we used the Integrated Public Use Microdata Series (IPUMS)[Endnote], which consists of sixty-six high-precision samples of the American population drawn from fifteen federal censuses, and the American Community Surveys (ACS) of 2000-2009. This file concatenates sixty-one of the IPUMS USA samples into a single data set that allows 160 years of micro-level census data to be accessed with single queries using PDQ-Explore. For most analyses, we only used the most recent year of data, 2009.

Are media portrayals of the black relationship dilemma accurate?

For example, we examine ABC News, Nightline feature article, "Single, Black, Female -- and Plenty of Company." Taking this statement literally, we should understand that single white women have more "company" than single black women. In the US, 6.2 million black women have never been married, compared to 16.6 million white women. Therefore, a single white female has 10 million more counterparts with whomto enjoy single life than black women.

However, as the article points out, sometimes numbers are deceiving. After all, as they claim, "Forty-two percent of U.S. black women have never been married, double the number of white women who've never tied the knot." True, with our independent analysis of the ACS, we find that 43 percent of black women have never been married compared to 20 percent of white women, who are 18 years and older. However, when analyzing the black women who are 35 and older, the percent who have never been married drops to 25 percent, indicating that a solid majority of black women get married before they turn 35. Granted, the total percent of unmarried black women is still twice more than for white women who are 35 and older.

The article goes on to state, "For starters, there are 1.8 million more black women than black men. So even if every black man in America married a black woman today, one out of 12 black women still wouldn't make it down the aisle if they hoped to marry a black man." True, using the most recent data in fact shows 1.9 million more black women than black men. However, the same data show 4.6 million more white women than white men. With this statement, they are exercising arrogant ignorance or deceptive omission to sell the story.

Nationwide, although more than 800,000 more black women than black men have at least a bachelor's degree, almost 200,000 more black men than black women earn more than $75,000 per year.

Finally, the article asserts, "Let's take 100 black men. By the time you eliminate those without a high school diploma (21 percent), the unemployed (17 percent) and those ages 25-34 who are incarcerated (8 percent), you have only half of black men, 54 percent, whom many black women find acceptable." Here, the article assembles numbers to assert, rather audaciously, that nearly half of all black men in America are unworthy of marriage because of their undesirable social characteristics. First, for this statement to be true there has to be zero overlap in these categories. In fact, research shows that nearly 70 percent of high school dropouts serve time in prison. Second, with the number of educated and skilled black people who are unemployed due to the compounding effects of a sluggish labor market and institutional racism, grouping the "unemployed" with high school dropouts and prisoners is hugely disingenuous.

Another more recent article in the Wall Street Journal by Ralph Banks asserts that black women should marry outside of their race to resolve their lack of prospects. The article takes many of the same ill-conceived positions as Dateline, but adds, "Even if a majority of white men are uninterested in dating black women, that still leaves more than enough eligible white men for every single black woman in America." As we mentioned earlier, there are 4.6 million more white women than white men. We should also add that in 2009 more than 377,214 more white women graduated from college than white men. Add this figure to the fact that white men are 7 times more likely than white women to serve time in prison, yet among the more successful white men, marriage rates are high; therefore the white community does not necessarily have a surplus of eligible white men. The truth is that marriage rates among black men and women are both low. If single black men and women could stop looking to the garbage media for solutions, they might be able to find love in one another.

Are there enough successful black men for the black women who want them?

We hope the above examples of manipulation will lead you to have a healthy level of skepticism toward media portrayals of black men and women. However, we still need to address the question, "Are there enough successful black men for the black women who want them?" The answer is somewhat elusive. In reality, if all 2,514,135 black women with a college degree wanted to marry a black man with a college degree, 830,797 would remain unmarried. In other words, only 1,683,338 black men in America today have a bachelor's degree.

Black women began to outpace black men in degree production more than a half century ago, starting in the 1960s. However, degree production has not brought about parity in the personal income of black women andblack men. Nationwide, although more than 800,000 more black women than black men have at least a bachelor's degree, almost 200,000 more black men than black women earn more than $75,000 per year. In America,725,922 black men earn more than $75,000 compared to 528,204 black women; 100,000 more black men earn more than $100,000 than black women; and black men are twice as likely to earn more than a quarter million dollars. Therefore, if we define success in terms of education, there will never be enough black men for black women, but if we define success in terms of income, there is still some hope for black love.

Education increases the chances that a black male will earn a higher income but does not completely determine income. Several occupations that do not require a college degree are overrepresented among six figure black men. The top five occupations for black men who make six figures without a college degree are: (1) managers, (2) truck drivers, (3) police officers, (4) construction workers, and (5) bailiffs, correctional officers, and jailers. Interestingly, rounding out the top 10 are janitors and building cleaners; a profession that accounts for 1,431 black men who make six figures. The lesson; working hard at anything can lead to success.

Do black people have unstable marriage patterns because of forced breeding and family separations during slavery?

Some people assert that relationship problems in the black community have origins in slavery, because captors used black men as studs and sold away husbands, wives and children. This argument is extremely unsettling. The implication is that black people have taken more than 150 years to overcome a very callous breeding process, and whorish proclivities, which impede black men's ability to commit to his wife and children, could be operating at a subconscious level.

Two periods in history show large numbers of unmarried black women. The first is from 1880 to 1930, when more than 1 in 5 was widowed. The second is the period between 1980 and now, when marriage rates among black people sharply declined.

Our analysis of historical census data in fact suggests that it took black people no more than 20 years to overcome this subjugation (See Figure 1). Census estimates from 1880 to 1970 demonstrates marriage rates were mostly higher for black people than for white people. Two periods in history show large numbers of unmarried black women. The first is from 1880 to 1930, when more than 1 in 5 was widowed. The second is the period between 1980 and now, when marriage rates among black people sharply declined. This evidence suggests that residual instability in the black family is not the result of slavers studding out black men during slavery. Rather, it is the result of lynching, mass incarceration and institutional racism, which reduced opportunities for some black men to provide for and protect his family.

Several other factors also explain the high percentage of unmarried black women. First, urbanization is clearly associated with lower marriage rates among men and woman of all races. Black and white women in New York and Los Angeles are less likely to marry than their peers are in Atlanta and Washington, DC. All cities where the percent of married black people were well above the national average were small cities. Second, employment status reduces marriage rates by about 11 percent for black women and 12 percent for white women. Third, only 24 percent of white women and 13 percent of black women who live in poverty are married, compared to 78 percent of white women and 58 percent of black women with household incomes above $100,000. All of these factors disproportionately affect black people and should be noted when discussing lower marriage rates among black people.

Contrary to popular beliefs, the number of divorces has not been significantly higher for black people at any point in history. Divorces among black and white people doubled in the 1980s. However, today, 7,133,594(nearly 70%) black children do not have both a mother and father in the home primarily because their parents were never married. Fifty-four percent of black children only have a mother in the home, 7 percent only have a father in the home, and 9 percent have neither a mother nor a father in the home. Interestingly, the number and percent of single black mothers and fathers are currently at historic highs.

Note: Percent of all people who have been married at least once regardless of the outcome of the marriage (e.g. intact, separation, divorce, or widowed).

Are most successful black men gay or prefer to be with white women?

To some black women who want black men, hope for black love is lost in the fact that they believe most successful black men are either gay or prefer to be with white women. We are not aware of any research studies that find a higher prevalence of homosexuality among black or successful men, and unfortunately, we cannot analyze this with our data. From our data, we can estimate that 578,533 (4.8 percent) black men and 2.5 million (3.4 percent) white men are in cohabitating relationships with other men. When comparing only white and black men who have college degrees the percent who are cohabitating with men is 2.6 percent for both races. We understand that only a small percentage of the total homosexual population cohabitate, however this is evidence against the theory that homosexuality is overrepresented among college educated black men.

Our data allows us to more precisely measure whether successful black men are more likely to marry outside of their race. Eighty-eight percent of all black men who are married are married to black women. When we use the census to compare household economic status between black and interracial couples, we find that 8 percent of black males who are living at or near poverty have a white wife, and 9 percent of black males who are middle class or better have a white wife. Among married black men with a personal income of more than $100,000, 12 percent have a white wife, 83 percent have a black wife, and 5 percent have a wife who is neither black nor white. Six percent of married black men who are high school dropouts have a white wife and 92 percent have black wives. Among black men with college degrees, 10 percent have a white wife and 85 percent have black wives. Among black male professional athletes, 72.8% are married to black women, 22.2% are married to white women, and 5% are married to women who are neither black nor white.

Eighty-eight percent of all black men who are married are married to black women.

Black women are less likely to marry outside of their race. Among black women with college degrees, 5.3% have a white husband and 93% haveblack husbands. Only 2% of married black women who are high school dropouts have a white husband and 96.7% have a black husband. Mostwhite men, 97 percent, have a white wife and only .3 percent has black wives. However, due to the difference in the size of the population, we really cannot compare the percent for white men, to the percent for black men. If 8 percent of the 43.1 million married white men were to marry black women, 96 percent of the 3.6 million married black women would be married to white men. Similarly, only .7 percent of married white women are married to black men. At 20 percent, Asian women are more likely than any other race-gender to marry someone of a different race.

What is the black male to female ratio in Atlanta, GA and Washington, DC?

In the mid-1990s, with low college enrollment among black men compounded by their overrepresentation in the criminal justice system, concerns about the future of the black nuclear family elevated. Although the origins of such figures are unclear, many black people began to claim female to male ratios of more than 20-to-1 in cities such as Atlanta and Washington, DC. Here, we examine the female to male ratio in Atlanta and Washington, DC among 25 to 45 year olds; our estimate of the age range of people who are likely to belooking for a mate.

The unmarried black female to black male ratio in Atlanta is 1.3-to-1. Atlanta has 185,527 unmarried black women and 147,271 unmarried black men between 25 and 45. The female to male ratio among college educated black people in Atlanta is 1.8-to-1. Atlanta has 69,193 unmarried black women and 37,973 unmarried black men, who are college educated and between age 25 and 45. However, contrary to popular belief, education increases the likelihood that a black woman in Atlanta will be married. In Atlanta, only 27 percent of black women who dropped out of high school are married, compared to 37 percent among those with a high school diploma, 38 percent among those with a college degree, 55 percent among those with a masters or professional degree, and 67 percent among those with a doctoral degree.

The unmarried black female to black male ratio in Washington is also 1.3-to-1. Washington has 136,142 unmarried black women and 104,516 unmarried black men between 25 and 45. The female to male ratio among college educated black people in Washington is 1.5-to-1. Washington has 52,185 unmarried blackwomen and 34,324 unmarried black men, who are college educated between age 25 and 45. Education also increases the likelihood that a black woman in Washington, DC will be married. In Washington, only 26 percent of black women who dropped out of high school are married, compared to 36 percent among those with a high school diploma, 47 percent among those with a college degree, 59 percent among those with a masters or professional degree, and 62 percent among those with a doctoral degree.

What does this all mean?

Many legitimate issues threaten the survival of black heterosexual relationships and marriage. Higher mortality rates among men at every phase of life affect all races. Further, with the current incarceration rate among black men being 7 times that of white men, the number of marriage ready black men is further reduced. Marriage rates among black people continue to decline and are currently less than half the rate for white people. We would also be remiss if we did not acknowledge that the larger number of black men with high salaries, despite being less educated than black women, could reflect sexism and gender bias in America's workforce. These are legitimate concerns that require our best minds to address.

However, several narratives that prevail in discussions of black love and marriage have been extremely divisive. Myths that have been perpetuated have drawn misleading contrasts between educated black women and lesser educated black women, pitted single black women against single white women, and obstructed healthy dialogue and compassion between black men and black women. Black men and women with more social capital are becoming estranged and disillusioned, while less affluent black men and women's marriage prospects are impacted profoundly by the higher incarceration rates among black men and less financial resources to support a family. We sympathize with the pain of the young black female lawyer, who spends her birthday dining at fine restaurants with her equally successful friends; and the dilemma of her physician ex who is having trouble choosing a wife, because he believes he has 20 black women to choose from.However, we should also consider the social and economic needs of the lesser-educated single mother, who cleans hotels after her fiancée went to jail.

We also should structure the debates in a way that does not denigrate black men or dispirit black women. Black women and the media have accused black men, directly and indirectly, of betrayal, insolence and worthlessness. Meanwhile, black men have trivialized black women's legitimate concerns, while idly andpassively allowing researchers and pundits to manipulate numbers to insult their character and integrity. With the support of black women, black men should own and work to correct any shortcomings that marginalize their contribution to the betterment of their community. From these findings, we learn that success among black men is diverse. It could come in the form of two audacious professors at "black ivies" challenging the merits and motivations of media giant like ABC and the Wall Street Journal, or a black male janitor whose hard work and innovation led him to being the director of custodial services at the Pentagon. Today, we assert the possibilities of black male success, and the promise that the seeds of strong black relationships are already planted in a strong black community.

What YOU Can Do

Join Dr. Toldson and Dr. Marks to discuss these and other issues facing the black community at, “Presidential Symposium: Beyond the Stereotypes - Academics, Athletics, Character and Black Male Achievement,” during the Howard University/Morehouse College Nation's Football Classic, "More Than a Game" activities: a weekend of empowerment, enrichment and entertainment activities, designed to promote Black male achievement.

Ivory A. Toldson, Ph.D. is associate professor at Howard University School of Education, senior research analyst for the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation, and editor-in-chief of the Journal of Negro Education. Direct any correspondence to itoldson@cbcfinc.org.

Bryant T. Marks is the director of the Morehouse Male Initiative, assistant professor of psychology at Morehouse College, and faculty associate at the Institute for Social Research, University of Michigan. He can be reached at bmarks@morehouse.edu.

Dr. Toldson gratefully acknowledges Reynolds Farley,Lisa Neidert, and Albert Anderson at the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan for providing the training necessary to complete this analysis. Dr. Toldson and Dr. Marks acknowledge their wives for advanced reading, feedback and help to eliminate any male biases.

Presence of Mind

Yes. I have it.

I'm present, in my mind.

Learning, thinking, analyzing.

Becoming better.

I will not give up.

I will not be beaten.

The Power lies in my presence of mind.

And I will have it.

Off the dome. I'm a poet and aint eem know it. LOL :)

Just letting folks know I'm alive....barely.

Later.

Yes. THIS is very American. *Sarcasm*

I just....

I have NO words for this situation.

This is where partisanship goes ALL THE WAY WRONG.

I can't even believe...well, just read for yourself here.

I mean....I just...WHY??

And then there's this lovely bit from that crazy broad from Alaska...you know the one that spied on Russia from her house? Yeah, that nutjob. SMDH



YEAH. So, that crazy lady puts gunsights on congresspeople and is SHOCKED when one gets shot. Really. *raised eyebrow*

I will never understand how we are a global superpower and the majority of people are super stupid and intolerant of those whose ideas differ from theirs...

Things to Pray For--#4

Yep. This is me.

I'm a lazy heffah. REAL LAZY.

Its a problem that trickles into everything; school, workout regime, cooking...

I've been known to lay in bed ALL DAY. Not eat, not do anything productive. Just loaf and sleep.

#NotAGoodLook

So, #4 on the list is to be a lil' less lazy. I've noticed that if I keep moving when I'm on task and stay out of my house, I can get stuff done. Gonna hafta parlay that into some kinda plan. Yeah. As soon as I get outta bed...LOL

HEY! Its still 2010! #BabySteps

formspring.me

Ask me (almost) anything http://formspring.me/myzdevyne1

Things to Pray For--#3

Patience: the state of endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on annoyance/anger in a negative way; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties. Patience is the level of endurance one's character can take before negativity. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast. Or which you can wait for things. Antonyms include hastiness and impetuousness.

I hate waiting.

No, really.

I'm quick to curse someone out in my head, and tap my foot impatiently with folks on the road, folks waiting on me in a store or restaurant, or folks just in general taking too long to do something. I also have issa with waiting for the blessings I'm getting....I know. I have the AUDACITY to rush the Big Man Upstairs? Its bad.

So, today, as I'm trying to wait for Christmas Eve to become Christmas, I'm going to asked the Almighty to grant me a bit mo' patience. I know its a virtue that I'm VERY short on. So in the new year, and beyond, I need to get right with that.

Things to Pray For--#2

Hello folks!

I'm back...had to knock out those pesky law school finals. *Wipes forehead* WHEEW! Glad that's over. I'm now 1 semester down, 5 more to go!! *hits a dougie*

That brings me to my #2 thing to pray for in 2011 and beyond...I didn't forget!!!

I know that I would not have made it this far without GOD. I'm not gonna use this blog to try to convert folks, but I don't know how you can't KNOW that there is something greater than you acting in your life. I've gotten 2 degrees, moved to several states, met all types of people...I've never broken a bone, I've never been seriously injured...I can go on and on. And I Neva Woulda Made it Without Him. *cue Marvin Sapp*

Unfortunately, I don't thank GOD enough for what he does in my life. Its funny, I have no problem acknowledging my mother and the impact she has on my life. GOD is my heavenly father and I rarely remember to tell him thank you. SMDH.

2.) Give Him praise. Daily. Hourly. Pray over my food, attend church and pray in the morning and at night.

Anyone else find themselves forgetting say thank you to one that always has your back?

Things to Pray for in the New Year and Beyond--#1

I have a lot of things to be grateful for. I have been able to do what I've always said I wanted to do, and as some of my close friends have reminded me, it was brave to leave my life (and my disposable income) to do what I'm doing.

However, every year I live, I think its good to improve. So, here's my list of things to pray for in 2011 and beyond. These aren't frivolous material things, but rather traits and characteristics I think will help me be a better me in the New Year.

1.) Discipline--I've been fighting my wight as long as I can remember. The only time I've been able to lose weight was when I (A.) had a regime and (B.) didn't have to think about what I was doing. The thing is, I haven't had the discipline to get started and maintain. I'm on Weight Watchers, but I keep falling off the wagon. LOL So I need some divine intervention. I need the Good Lawd to put His hand in this task. I have a feeling it will help with other areas too.

Anyone else have this problem? Any advice on how to get started? Sharing is caring folks...:)

Go, Go, Go, Go Shawty, Its Ya Birthday, We gon' Party Like...

...WE IN LAW SCHOOL.

Party like we in Law School (When said party is on a Tuesday)=studying, catching up on outlines and generally acting like its a regulah ass day.

*SIGH*

But....HALLELUJAH ANYHOW!!! *hits a dougie*

I'mma get right with this bloggin' thang, I promise. School's just a TAD bit too much for the kid to handle right now. Gotta do that and blog? Naw son. Not going down. Just lemme get through my first finals, and I'll get back with ch'all, I swear.

I have updates too!! Life has been MOVIN' ova here!! Promise y'all stick aroudn to hear them?? Its good stuff!!

So, We Burn Religious Books Now??

Houston, we have a problem.

There is some IGNANT (yes, I said IGNANT on purpose. Behavior such as this does not deserve proper spelling) pastor out in FL that thinks its justifiable to BURN THE HOLY QUR'AN on the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 bombing.

*pauses to let that sink in*

*another pause for you to reread and check comprehension*

Yes, you read correctly!!! #WDDDA and #FAIL!! You can read of this fuckery for yourself here.

iJust....CAN.NOT!! How is this okay?! Like, okay, Constitutionally, you have the "right" to do this. BUT, I find it puzzling that the very people that will so proudly proclaim to be direct descendants of those that came over on the Mayflower (read: White folks) are the first ones in line to CRAP ALL OVA someone's religious choice!! Weren't your ancestors ESCAPING religious persecution?? Right...

AND FURTHERMORE (yeah, I'm really miffed!) how, I ask, HOW as a man of the CLOTH, can you condone this behavior?!?! My GOD is one of tolerance and love!! He doesn't approve! #NOSah #DoNotWant!!

So, you think the Qur'an condones violence, so you are burning it to protest...its existence? The religion? The people? How is that Christ-like? I have a feeling this is NOT What Jesus Would Do.

I think this cat needs to pull his collar up. His REDNECK is showing. SMDH

Law School Blues

I got the law school blues.

I know, I know...I just got here.

I just didn't expect it to be so....different.

Like, as smart as I am in real life, is how DUMB I am in Law School.

Everything I thought I knew...how to study, how to pay attention, how to take notes...WRONG. Its like someone shook the skills out of my brain, piled them up and lit them aflame!!

Its really frustrating.

I imagine I'm not the only one that has this issha, so I've decided that sharing is caring (and venting, we already know, is therapeutic) so I will guest-blog over at The LawStudent Chronicles. I can let out my frustrations, and hopefully learn something.

Lawd KNOWS, I gotta do something...I might LOSE IT!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

The 2010 Black Weblog Awards Finalists

I managed to vote for ALL my favorite blogs!!!

*throws confetti*

*Crip walks to all my favorite blogs, throws glitter*

*Leyomi drops*

WHHHEEEW. Okay, back to our regulah'ly scheduled programming....

The 2010 Black Weblog Awards Finalists

T-Minus 5/11

I'm leaving Philadelphia.

It feels SOOOO DAMN GOOD to write those words.

I've been plotting on how to get th HAYLE outta this city for 2 years now. It was time, and I'm glad I was able to do it and also make it a positive step toward my own growth.

5 days left of the job, 11 days left in the "City of Brotherly Love". Hmph. #LiesAllLies

I'm MAD excited to be moving to Georgia. I can't wait to start school and to just be in a new place where I can get out from under the funky cloud I have been dealing with for the last few years. I truly think this move is for the best, and although there are a few folks I will miss in this part of the country (not many mind you, but a handful) I'm looking forward to reconnecting with my friend in the South and meeting new folks.

The South has always felt the most like home; even more so than Nap. Probably because I was born in FL. I'm a native daughter of the part of the country where its rarely less that 50 degrees outside, where folks smile easy and generally have positive dispositions. Anyone that knows me personally can attest to the fact athat I am genuinely like that. Folks up here can't appreciate, let alone reciprocate. I think that brouught me down a lot.

So farewell Philadelphia. Its been real. I learned a lot about people, and about myself especially; but...gotta go...gotta leave!

Lord, Why Did You Make Me Black?

Now, don't get it twisted. I'm a proud black woman. *insert black power fist here*

Sometimes tho, I can relate more to the beginning of this poem than the end...sigh.

I know I'm made in HIS image, fearfully and wonderfully so...but why do folks feel the need to take me for granted, abuse me and treat me so wrong sometimes!? *irked*

Anywho. Here's the poem, in case you've never read it:

Lord, Lord,

Why did You make me Black?

Why did You make someone

The world wants to hold back?

Black is the color of dirty clothes;

The color of grimy hands and feet.

Black is the color of darkness;

The color of tire-beaten streets.

Why did You give me thick lips,

A broad nose and kinky hair?

Why did You make me someone

Who receives the hatred stare?

Black is the color of the bruised eye

When someone gets hurt.

Black is the color of darkness,

Black is the color of dirt.

How come my bone structure's so thick;

My hips and cheeks are high?

How come my eyes are brown

And not the color of the daylight sky?

Why do people think I'm useless?

How come I feel so used?

Why do some people see my skin

And think I should be abused?

Lord, I just don't understand.

What is it about my skin?

Why do some people want to hate me

And not know the person within?

Black is what people are "listed",

When others want to keep them away.

Black is the color of shadows cast.

Black is the end of the day.

Lord, You know, my own people mistreat me

And I know this just isn't right.

They don't like my hair or the way I look.

They say I'm too dark or too light.

Lord, don't You think it's time

For You to make a change?

Why don't You re-do creation

And make everyone the same?

GOD ANSWERED

Why did I make you Black?

Why did I make you Black?

Get off your knees and look around.

Tell Me, what do you see?

I didn't make you in the image of darkness,

I made you in the Likeness of ME!

I made you the color of coal

From which beautiful diamonds are formed.

I made you the color of oil,

The Black Gold that keeps people warm.

I made you from the rich, dark earth

That can grow the food you need.

Your color's the same as the panther's

Known for (HER) beauty and speed.

Your color's the same as the Black stallion,

A majestic animal is he.

I didn't make you in the Image of darkness.

I made you in likeness of ME!

All the colors of a Heavenly Rainbow

Can be found throughout every nation;

And when all of those colors were blended well,

YOU BECAME MY GREATEST CREATION.

Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool.

Such a humble, little creature is he.

I am the Shepherd who watches them.

I am the One who will watch over thee.

You are the color of midnight sky.

I put the stars' glitter in your eyes.

There is a smile hidden behind your pain.

That's why your cheeks are so high.

You are the color of dark clouds formed

When I send My strongest weather.

I made your lips full so when you kiss

The one that you love, they will remember.

Your stature is strong; your bone structure, thick

To withstand the burdens of time.

The reflection you see in the mirror...

The image looking back at you is MINE.

RuNett Nia Ebo

And Then It Comes To Me...Like An Epiphany...

So...I've had another one of my grand Epiphanies...*pause for dramatic intake of breath*

I was talking to my mentor the other day, lamenting on my desire to be wifed up. All my friends are getting married and/or having kids, I want a family, blah, blah, blah...
WOMP.
My mentor (who just told me a few weeks ago I might need to step out on the brothers and get a Ken, but that's another post) listened intently for a few minutes. She then declared "If I was still a card-carrying member of the the Black Mothers' Caucus, I'd slap you!" (Why she is no longer a member is also another post, LOL) She went on, "you have everything you need at this point in life! You have been successful, you don't have any babies tying you down...you are FREE to do as you wish! And all you can fuss about is having a husband?! You are crazy!!"

This made me think, like REALLY think. Was I ready to get married? The answer was a resounding NO. I can't even stand house guests for longer than 2-3 days! How I'mma live with a man day in, day out, for the rest of my life?!?! LOL
I think I'm afraid to be alone. Its funny, cause my mother lived with a man for 15 years that she DID NOT END UP MARRYING. When I asked her why she kicked "Daddy" (man that raised me, but not my mother's ex-husband/my birth father) to the curb, she said, "it wasn't really what I wanted. I just didn't want to be by myself."

Damn, I get more and more like mama everyday...

BUT, I refuse to do that. I'm not gonna subject someone to my mess for YEARS only to figure out I'm not ready.
At this juncture, I just need to figure out how to not be lonely. And I need to internalize ('cause I already "know" it)that married with kids does not equal happiness, nor does single equal lonely.

"I think I'm just about ova being yo' girlfriend....I'm LEAVING...I'm leaving...
YAHZ.

Proof That Hip Hop RUNS THE WORLD

I have no words...