I just feel so...blah!
Like, I have so much going on, and I'm truly blessed. I realize that.
But I'm not happy.
I hate to whine, I really do. but...
I WANNA BOO! *whiny kid voice*
I'm tired of my only companionship being my girlfriends. And I'm not trying to just settle mind you. I want someone thats REAL and ready for the type of relationship that I want to have. Someone that measures up to my expectations.
I have a male "friend" (meaning he wants to bone, but I'm not having it)that wants to "be with me" (translation=have a lot of sex, maybe possibly make me his girlfriend. SMDH), but I won't give that fool the time of day in a clock shop. Why, you may ask? Sure hes an employed, mobile, educated individual. Moderately attractive and TALL to boot. (y'all know I like dem tall boys)
So why no dice? This man has 2 children. By 2 different women. And I'm sorry, that's not a row I'm tryinta hoe. Its too tuff. Plus, he doesn't want to get married for another 5 years or more. WTF!?! I broke it down for him this way:
-I will be tethered to the NE. If I'm with you, you aren't gonna be moving farther than DC. I want SOUTH of the Mason Dixon sir. No bueno!
-What am I sposed to do while your life plan catches up to mine? I want to be married by 30 at the LATEST; you are already 31 and you tombout another 5 YEARS?!?! So I suppose if I want babies, I gotta be baby mama #3 and just keep my fingers cross that you'll marry my ass, when based on your track record, that ain't happening? o_O
-If by chance all thhatACTUALLY DOES work out, I can't think about just my kids, I gotta think about ALL the kids. I can't just send mine to private school; its not fair to the others. I gotta think about 2 extra gifts at Christmas, 2 additional birthday parties to plan a year...we gotta schedule vacations around our kids' breaks AND when you get visitation...not my idea of fun sir!
Now I'm a bad guy for thinking this way, but men discriminate against women with kids ALL THE TIME. That Guy (Atlanta Guy) and I have discussed this as length. He makes a great point: I've done all I've done and made it this far without any children, why should I have to deal with someone else's mistake for the rest of MY life?
Am I to think if I'm going t have a quality companion, I've gotta to deal with this? SMDH. *wall slide*
I hate happy mofos like this right now. *sigh*
