Reason, Season, or Lifetime

“Reason, Season, Lifetime”
Aleksandra Lachut
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

I've lost another young lady I considered a friend...
And I'm a bit bummed, but at the same time I recognize that I may have been her blessing, for her season....and now that's over.
I'mma keep pushing, doing me and making moves...and I wish her the best!

So Much To Say...PT 1

Seems like I'm always doing "catch up" posts...
Which is really a hot mess, cause I'm always tombout how I have no social life. LOL

So now we gotta cover a gang of life occurences in one post...here goes!

First, I have to pay homage to the late great King of Pop, Michael Jackson. I know a lot of folks are mourning, some that really just jumped on the bandwagon cause its the story du moment, but I genuinely loved MJ. The first song I ever sang to my mother was Ben. One of the few happy memories I have with my real father is Saturdays (when he actually did come to get me) watchin Moonwalker with my cousins, imitating the moves. I was always Michael. :) I almost had that Dancing Machine dance sequence PERFECT! Ona my favs to this day...along with Goin' Back To Indiana!! (c'mon now...I grew up there! Gimme a break!)
Since I'm mad late on his death (June 25) and his public service is tmw (July 7) @ the Staple Center, I'mma refer to summa my fave bloggers so you can appreciate their stories about how Mike touched them. I concur with all of them!
RIP Michael Jackson, by a Belle in Brooklyn
Celebrating an Icon: Michael Jackson 1958-2009, by One Fourth Random

Finally...Rest King of Pop and Remarkable, by Davidisms

RIP MJJ...I know you, Aaliyah, Left Eye, Rick James, James Brown, Ray Charles and many other great musicians are up there having a GREAT TIME!

Now...
On to the FUCKERY...
The BET AWARDS.
Wow. I mean, I don't know whether to laugh hysterically at the antics or cry for my people. I think I did both. It did have its high points. Jamie and Martin in "Stank Robbers", a hat-less Ne-yo performing "She's Out of My Life", in tribute to MJ, and the O'Jays showin da young bucks how its done in their set.
My problem was...well...
WHERE DA FUKK WAS THE BIG MJ TRIBUTE?!?!
I mean, they pubbed it soo big; CNN was on their red carpet! Let's be for real here, I would say 75% of the folx that watched would not have seen it @ all if we hadn'ta been looking for a proper tribute from the ONLY BLACK Entertainment channel on TV. Hayle, I don't watch BET any other time! The foolywang that passes for quality programming there...SMDH. (How you gonna have a show called College Hill where the ninjas don't go to class!?!?!)
And then...
Aside from leavin MJ nearly totally out in the cold...I have 6 folx in particular that rubbed me the wrong way...
Tiny & Toya, Frankie & Neffe, and Lil' Wayne & Drake.
W...T...F????

The wacktastic programming about baby's mamas and relatives of stars?? Huh?
And Drake, boo...I know you are popular. But you are still new, and you shouldn't let folx herd you off the cliff! Wayne?? SMDH. Why you got your daughter and her friends on stage during a song in which you tombout fukkin ery girl in da world!?!?
What matter of COONERY was this!?!?!
Again, I'm late, so I'mma share some posts by some of my fave bloggers... special shouts out to MissJia for the video post...she was GANGSTA!

BET, What Can I Do To Help, By One Fourth Random

Dear BET: Comment about the “Tribute”, by Davidisms

BET Awards Open Thread #1, BET Awards Open Thread #2, and BET Awards Decompression Thread, by Jack & Jill Politics

Miss Jia + BET Awards Thoughts (LATE), By Miss Jia

More lata...I guess I gotta pretend to work. LOL

Love, MyzT

Woe is Me! (Requiem for the Black Marriage)

70% of African American women are single.
Like, WTH? I mean, I knew there were a lot of us. In the groups I travel in, we are educated (all of us have an undergraduate degree, most of us have some other letters after our name--MBA, PhD, JD DD, etc) and all of us are single. I can look at my family, and of my living female relatives (mother, grandmother, surviving aunt, and 3 cousins) only ONE is married. But I know us, we are great people, and we will make fabulous wives. (heck, I cook, clean, sew, love kids and I gotta job! What more can a man want!!?? LOL)

I saw this clip with Oprah giving reasons why so many of us are single:

70% of african american women are single

I have to say, I don't think it has a lot to do with brothas dating outside the race. I mean, I see it, it happens, but I don't count that as a cause; perhaps an effect of the real reasons.

My experience has given me 2 learnings:
1.) Many black men are intimidated by a woman that doesn't need him to "take care of her", and thus they don't feel useful; and
2.) Some of us are so busy waving our I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T woman flag, we unintentionally (or sometimes intentionally) cut brothas down.

Men, just because I make a decent living and can change a tire, doesn't mean I don't need you. I need you! I need you to love me, encourage me, make me laugh and hold my hand. I need you to be equally yoked. I need you to be the father of my children, to teach my boys to be men and teach my little girls what a good man looks like. I need you.

Women, I'm proud of us. We got the degree, got the job. We drive a nice car, and we own a home. We have savings and we did it all before we got married. But does that mean you don't need a man? What good is all that success if you have no one to share it with? And I'm sorry, there are just somethings your family and your girlfriends can't give you, ok? Needing a man doesn't make you weak, so stop acting like you have to "surrender" to be in a relationship. And its great to be proud of your success, but don't throw it in every man that you meet's face! He can be proud of you without you trying to make him feel inferior.

IDK, what do you all think?
Drop ya thoughts in that text box below.

Love, Peace, and Soul!
T

Catch Up pt 2 (condensed)

Okay, so I had all intentions of doing a whole post about my baby sis' graduation and the trip to GA. NGH. (Not Gonna Happen) Not enough time in the day chile. Gots to keep it moving.

We'll just say that lil sis' graduated from HS, she's on her way to college in the fall, and I got some much needed familybondingtime with the sibs. Fan-freakin-tabulous.

I also saw a man. The man. Everybody has the story about the one that got away. We'll just call him AtlantaGuy. We started our on and off affair many years ago when he was at FSU and I was at FAMU. I think I want to love him, but my brain won't let me....but that's a whole nother post.

Then there was the unexpected, yet DREADFUL and educational visit from CaliGuy. I know, I know...I knew he was CRAZY, but IDK...call me a hopeless sucker that want's to believe the best about people=STUPID.

Needless to say, this visit was not pleasant. I have never met such a vain, unintelligient, chauvinistic, idiotic...man, I could keep going for DAYZ, ya'll. This dude was OFF THE DAMN RICHTER. Totally helpless, he was also a liar and a thief. (He stole my digital camera, my external hard drive...my TV REMOTE and DETACHABLE SHOWERHEAD?!?! GTFOH!!!)

I've been doing a lot of introspection these days, and several lessons came outta this (bear with me, 'cause some of this is SFO-Statement of the Fuckin' Obvious; I'm recording them for prosperity) :

1.) Meeting someone for the first time when they come to visit you is NOT a good idea;
2.) Facebook and Myspace are the not acceptable to "get to know" someone, only to interact with people you have already met;
3.) If something sounds to good to be true, not only is it NOT true, its 1000 times worse than you could possibly imagine;

And finally, God has a quirky sense of humor. He will give you what you think you want, just so you can see the benefits of what you have, so you can appreciate who you know that much more.

In the words of Alicia Keys:


Peace peeps!
T

Official Catch Up, Pt 1

Okay y'all...
Backspin to Memorial Day weekend. That's about where I left my life off at the blog. (Was that proper English? Methinks not!)

So I had finished the big meeting @ the job, and I felt like I deserves some R&R! Southwest was having some cheap flights, so I started looking and bango! Got a ticket to NC for $150 RT! YEEEEAAAHHHH!

I had to go y'all. My bestest friend in da WWW lives there, with his wife and 2 kids. (Yes, my BF is male; he was also my HS sweetheart, but that's another blog.) I hadn't seen them in 2 YEARS!!! My goddbabies were growing up, and I was missing it!

I hadn't seen Nyana since she was about 4 (she's gonna be 7 this year!)

and the last time I saw Makeda...welll...she was still on the titty. LOL





























So I was overdue. I just wasn't prepared tho y'all!! My babies are...well, not babies anymore!!

Sniff, sniff...
Plus it was good to see my peeps. My boy and his wife have their issues, but they are a happy family. A young black woman with a resposnible, hard working, educated young black man! And they are MARRIED! With kids!!! I love it...I swear, the media acts like it JUST CANT HAPPEN!!!

I've told them many times, they are my hope. They beat the odds. When she got preggers in college, they stayed together, and they both graduated WITH HONORS! I was in their wedding. I was the Best Woman...heehehe, it was actually in the program!

I just hope I can meet one like my BMF one day....they don't make 'em like him anymore!

STAY TUNED FOR MORE CATCHIN UP! LOL

Miracles and Blessings,

MyzT

What Kinda Hot Mess....SMDH....

She Said No To The Test

By Mandy Van Deven
A Laotian American teen protested No Child Left Behind and Won.

When she transfered to Storm Lake High School in Iowa from a high school in New York, Lori Phanachone indicated that she spoke a language other than English at home. As a result, the teenager, who was born in California and is a second generation Laotian American, was forced to take a basic English-proficiency exam every year or face disciplinary action.

Despite the fact that Phanachone, now 17, was seventh in her graduating high school class and has a 3.9 GPA, school officials said she was “illiterate” because she refused to continue taking the English Language Development Assessment (ELDA). They called Phanachone’s refusal “insubordination” and suspended her for three days.

After passing the test as a sophomore, Panachone was instructed to retake the exam the following year. Believing the request to be insulting, and that her 13 years of near flawless academic achievement should be proof enough of her aptitude, Panachone instead chose to sabatoge the results by filling in only C’s.

This last year when she was approached to take the test for a third time, she stepped up her game. She attended the exam but would not take out her pencil, which resulted in her being sent to speak with school administrators.

"[Assistant Principal Beau] Ruleaux told me I was 'no Rosa Parks'—that I should give up because I would not succeed in my protest," Phanachone said.

When she didn’t cave, the administrators went higher up on the food chain. Superintendent Paul Tedesco took a hardline approach; he compared Panachone’s suspension for refusing to take the test to suspending a student for not removing an offensive T-shirt at school. "When you refuse a command, that's insubordination," Tedesco responded.

Bob Schaeffer, public education director of the National Center for Fair and Open Testing, thinks it is the command itself that is problematic. "It illustrates the fixation on testing in which school bureaucrats believe the test score is more important than real performance," he says.

Schools receive additional federal funds for students who are determined to have limited English proficiency, and if a school fails to administer a test to one of those students, it risks losing that funding. But according to the Iowa Legislature’s Code, Section 280.4, Panachone does not fit the definition of having limited English proficiency, which means Storm Lake High School may well have been abusing Panachone’s indication of Loa as the primary language spoken in her home in order to obtain the extra money in the first place.

"Storm Lake labeled me an English Language Learner when I enrolled without even bothering to test me. All I want is to continue my education without the school labeling me unfairly," said Phanachone.

Despite their own potential miscategorization, administrators used scare tactics, telling Phanachone that she was at risk of losing her scholarship money for college. But the teenager’s resolve is clear: "I want to fight this because this is what I believe. It's wrong, not just for me, but for all minority students.”

Other students agreed and stepped up in her defense risking their own suspension by wearing T-shirts that read “Support Lori” and organizing a protest.

Administrators threatened to take from Phanachone other benefits of her hard work: denying her an opportunity to compete in National DECA events, participate on the track team and attend her senior prom. Despite assurances to the contrary, she received a letter stating she was kicked out the National Honors Society because she had failed to maintain the club’s "standards of scholarship, leadership, service and character." The membership was restored three days later after Khin Mai Aung, Phanachone’s lawyer from the Asian American Legal Defense and Education Fund, called for her reinstatement.

Aung is also demanding a letter from the district guaranteeing that no further punishment will be doled out to the teenager and that references to her suspension from school be removed from her school record. He insisted the district issue an explanation of how Phanachone came to be classified as an English Language Learner upon enrollment, and that it should reclassify Phanachone and other students who have been inappropriately labeled.

The latter two of these demands have now been fulfilled.
In April, Phanachone was reclassified and it is believed that she will no longer be required to take the test. The explanation given by Tedesco was weak to non-existent: “With input from various sources including the state, building level administrators and the curriculum director ... changes can be made at any time throughout a school year ... in any of our curriculum areas, which would include the ELL program.”

Phanachone is quick to clarify that this is not an attack on English as a Second Language or English Language Learner programs. "I am not against ESL programs and I am not against help that is needed. My mom does not speak English, so I know how hard a language barrier can be. But I am against discrimination," she said.

From COLORLINES The National News Magazine on Race and Politcs


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mandy Van Deven is a freelance writer and founder of the Feminist Review blog.

I know, I know...

I've been MIA...sooooo much stuff has happened since the last time I wrote, its NOT EVEN FUNNY.
Rather than take you through the rigormaroo (I'm good for using imaginary words...my girl Mo calls it "Tamorrian" LOL) that has been my life for the last...say, 2 months all in on setting, I'm gonna do some installments on this thang...not too long, cause I get distracted and bored talkin' bout one subject! LOL
Staty Tuned!!!

Two Scoops of Crazy

Lotsa folks say you are who you attract...
I'mma get myself checked with a psychologist, cause I seem to have a magnet in my booty that attracts crazy people!

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiFwWMsPzlDnimYeKICepmHG4jPeCtdfFBMpiQ0-Pw2lSlwr8y-iG7qBJmgdJGHpVG38_CHsPqokvUgF_NvopXIRQuBAqjCbIVv9NYuINz1PCed3xkwGKUUXhayRLi2teXPpGK/s400/crazy-man.jpg

Case in point, I was sorta involved with this dude, we'll call him NavyGuy. Well, he fell into sorryazzzmanmode and stood me up for a weekend. This pissed me off to no end, cause he was not really apologetic or anything. I felt like if you didn't think it was wrong you would do it again, and I told him as much.
Meanwhile, I started chatting with this other dude, we'll call him CaliGuy. Good looking, no kids, not a bum, and we seemed to vibe. Convo was great, but it seemed it was too good to be true...'specially when he started talkin about visiting. *raised eybrow*
Well, it all came to a head one day in a seemingly innocent convo. I was complaining about some ticket trouble (damn you, IPD *shakin' fist*) and he just...BLEW UP.
Like, I suspect if I hadda been in the room, his head would have done a full 360 and green bile would have flew out! I was like WTFJH!?!? Like, at what point did you become this sexist, chauvinistic, jerky dude? IDK...I hung up tout de suite and haven't talk to him since.
I guess I was hoping that after NavyGuy dissapointing me that a guy could really be as good as advertised...don't want to lose that optimism, you know? But IDK...think I might be better off focusing on my career and what I'm supposed to accomplish and not on the business of companionship.
~DOS~
T

How FABULOUS am I?

Now, I realize that the title may lead one to believe that I'm self centered and I'm really not...
But I really am quite fabulous.
I mean, I went to college on an academic scholarship. I've gotten 2 degrees. I live by myself, have my own car, and a good job. As of today, I've saved nearly 20K in all my accounts. That's money I ain't TOUCHING y'all! I'm pretty independent, but I'm not evil or stank acting. As educated as I am, I can get hood in a second...I'm a nice balance of bourgie and ghetto, LOL. (BOURGHETTO!!! I know I ain't the only one that remembers that song!)
I have to have lil' random posts like this to keep me sane. LAWD KNOWS, with the world out here like it is, a sistah can forget her fabulosity sometimes!

Love, Peace and Nappiness
T

Bloggin' on the way to lunch...

Just another day, out here in the hood, just another day around my way...
Feelin' good today...Feelin lovely hey...
Well, not really...
Sittin @ the lunch table with my colleagues feelin totally and utterly DETACHED from the convo...
I mean, they are nice, and I'm not usually a social recluse, but I mean REALLY--what does a black chick born in FL & raised in IN have to talk about with a bunch of much older, very white, male Germans!?!?
I try to participate, but its tough...nothin in common!
Dayz like this I wish I worked for an American CPG in the A...

Prunin' My Universe

So, anyone that knows me, knows I have a philosphy on friendship. I'm the sun, and the planets in there different orbits are the level of friendship upon which you operate.




You a Mercury/Venus/Earth orbit friend, we are very close and I confide in you regularly. You a Jupiter/Saturn friend, we may hang out, but you don't get the dirt, and so on and so forth.
Well, as of late, I'm noticing that there are a lot of friends around Neptune and Pluto...or folks that should be in a whole 'nother galaxy altogether! I'm not sure how this happened, but I've realized there are a lot of folks that might not even piss on me if I were on fire, and they are takin' up spots in my solar sytem.
Part of this is my fault, 'cause damn my sweet heart, I like to believe if you show folks love, and be the kind of person that other people want to care about, they will.

NOT TRUE. Especially not in Philly.

The men and women in the City of Brotherly Love and Sisterly Affection will MILK YOU DRY and KEEP GOING. Some of the people I've met are like locusts. And I've been like a big uncovered crop of corn before the harvest.

So, part of this pruning is me learning not to care so much about folks until they do something or show me some reason to care. I've also got to learn that I can't be concerned with everyone that crosses my path...I think I get lonely up here, and I want to give folks more than what they deserve. That makes me a mark. A sucker. And I can't go out like that.
So we 'bout to take this thang herr down a notch. No more calling folks I ain't talked to to check on them. No more "I was just wondering what you have been up to" texts. If we ain't talked in forever, you are going outward. If we wouldn't talk if I didn't initiate it, you can head to the Andromeda galaxy homie. Kick intergalactic rocks, I can't be bothered! Good riddance.

Love, Peace and Soul,
T

Bloggin...from the Blackberry...in traffic!

Started this on the 30th...
So...
I'm drivin down 309, bloggin on the BB. Too much text-nology!
I'm tired, but no nap today...volunteering for Dining Out for Life.
6:15-MAD LATE!! Still driving...least I'm downtown.
7:20-Yay for a small restaurant this year, but BOO to no place to sit! Glad I wore (somewhat) comfy shoes!
8:26-Place is FULL, and I've gotten a few donations. Glad I'm such a nice person...makes it easier to hit folx up fo $$$!
9:30-Coming down the home stretch...think I'mma order soon! I's HONGRY!
10:03-So much for me eating...party of 16 just arrived! OY!!!
11:02-Home @ last! Bout to PIG OUT!
11:59-To all a good night!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Prioritizing my Life

Okay...
So, I've decided that Philly is not the biz for da kid.
I've been here since January 13th, 2007. I've had 5 jobs, with 3 companies.
I've moved 3 times. I've gone on countless outings with "friends" (I use that term loosely, 'cause I really never connected solidly with anyone here that I didn't know before I moved here), numerous dates, and one "relationship" ( I use that term loosely, 'cause that clown had an ex-girlfriend that wasn't an ex).
I hate the traffic, I hate the attitude. I don't care for cheesesteak and I'm SOOO over the Philly beard.
So, now that the decision has been made, its time to do something about it.
I'm looking at LSAT courses. I figure if I can take it in September, I can start applying for 2010. I figure if I can't break into the job market where I wanna be, I'll go back to school there. I can at least be local then. I got to do something y'all. Philly is driving me crazy!

First Text Post...and I'm complaining (feel free to skip)

You know, I'm real tired of not being in the loop about stuff...how can I do my job? I'm constantly having to follow up rumors on stuff that has to do with my job, only to find out I'm just out of the loop and last to know!!! GRRRRRR...

Christine Hassler: How To Spring Clean Your Relationship

Just spreading some thought people...carry on....

Christine Hassler: How To Spring Clean Your Relationship

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Feelin' Real Proud Rat 'Bout Na!

I AM THE CURE.
That's what the sticker on my shoulder says.
Well, I guess I should back up a bit. Today, I walked in the 18th Annual Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Indianapolis. It was really special for me and my family. We lost my Aunt Marla Jean to breast cancer in December of last year. It was really tough on me, 'cause she was like my second mother. She took care of me when I was in college in FL, put me and my friends up for Spring Break at "Chez Marla's", and even bought me my first (legal) drink. I miss her so much. But I know she's in a better place.



Here's the kicker: right after burying Aunt M in December, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer too. I was soo scared. Not just for her, but for me. What if I get it? I've always been heavy up top; what if I never felt a lump, and I ended up with stage 4 and had to go through everything Aunt M had to? The only thing that has really kept me sane and prayerful is my mom. She's a trooper. She's been going though chemo, and she's doing SOOOO GOOD y'all! She's not had any nausea, she had no sores, and she's still teaching her aerobics class! She's my strength. I see where I get it from.



But today, WE CLOWN'D!!! We were dancing and singing and just having FUN!! Our team had nearly 30 members total, but about 25 or so came out and walked.
My BF and her mom


my cousins (one of which who also overcame breast cancer; she's a 2 year survivor!!)



my other aunt and uncle...it was just a great day. We went to eat afterward and I had FAB SUSHI!



I'm just really grateful that even tho so many are touched by this disease, people are taking it seriously, and WE WILL FIND A CURE.
My cousin beat it, and my mom will too. I lost an aunt and a great aunt, but I know they will find a way to defeat this disease. In the meantime, if you are in Philly on Mothers Day, I'll be walkin' with my Alumni Association too!

Peace and Love,
T

Dude, are you serious??!

It could just be me...y'all know I's a Southern gal, and I live up here in Philly. Now, I can accept cultural and gerographical difference and preference, (the "Philly beard", the "jawn" and all matters of whatnot)but at what point is it just straight up backwards??

Case in point, there's a cat I've been chatting with, we'll call him Locs(most beautiful locs you eva wanna SEE on a man, chile!). 33, never married, no kids, good job...I suppose I should be jumping for joy...eh. Anywho, this cat is real extra with the terms of endearment from jump street (I'm baby on the first date?!?! WTF), and forthcoming with other shows of affection...not exactly being fresh, but that territory's about a stones' throw away, ya dig? Furthermore, he's always asking to see me, but never initiates REAL plans (at my age, chillin at yo house watchin cable is not a great date. After we chill a few times is different, but I'm still getting to know you playa! You could be crazy!). He wants me to do all the work (where, when, what time)

I had a talk with him, and he was like, "that's how dudes in Philly are. That's how we let you know we are feelin you." "And you know, I feel like, if you want to kick it with me, you'll make plans to see me."



DA HAYLE?

Lemme get this straight: you want me to be baby and boo and love and ish, but you can't call me up and say 'lets go to dinner?' I don't think so homie...WOMP WOMP!! Methinks I will be doing a LOT of outta state dating if this is all that Philly is bringing...I canNOT be bothered.

Love, Peace and Nappiness,
T

Getting my life togetha!!

So I said like a year ago I was going to write in this thing more...

Clearly, a dayum shame.

So, this is me, writing. I must say, I found myself inspired by some of the other fabulous blogs I've read on here. Shouts out to Rantings of a Rebella, Renaissance Black Woman, and Chile Please. These ladies speak the truth!

So taking a cue from them, I'm gonna explore this bloggin thang. I got some thangs I wanna put into the universe, like....

...I needs to get on my grind with this working out thang. Since last July, I've gained about 15 pounds!

LAWD hep me!!!

I bought a Cardio Twister (C) and am committed to working out. I'm starting with the first week; if I can work out for a week straight, I can build on that. One week, two weeks, 3 weeks...

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE A HABIT!!!!

I'm on day 3; so in the words of Madagascar...

I gotta MOVE IT MOVE IT!!!

I'm trying to get right with this lifestyle change. That's right, I said it. Diets don't work...it only took me 10 years to figure it out. Its simple really...I did it when I was in college, albeit unintentionally. Eat good stuff at regular intervals, drink water and exercise. The cafe was about a quarter mile away, it was HOT AS HAYLE in the Tally-Ho, and the food was so NARSTY, all I ate for my entire freshman year was salad and rice...with some chicken on occasion. On top of that, I ran on the track 3 times a week, cause I was so scurred of the freshman fifteen. LOL...nobody told me about the Senior 17, the post grad 24 or the gotta desk job 35...SMDH.

I'mma git rat doe!

Peace and Blessings,
T

The 10 Definitions of What Every Woman Wants

Written by L. Jermiane Copyright 2007 through 2008

1. Touch Without Motive: This is when you can simply touch your woman with no hidden intention, and nothing sexual as the motive. When you can walk up behind your woman and gently massage her shoulders while you place a soft kiss upon her cheek right before you whisper "Good morning". That in itself will cause that woman to want, need, and desire you in a way that only "sexual" touching cannot. We as men have to learn how to hold, caress, and comfort our women with the strength of our arms and warmth of our masculinity. Your woman should be able to simply lie with and/or under you without being mauled 5 minutes later. Emotional touch yields far better results than sexual touch alone.

2. Attention Without Obligation: Attention without obligation is the most simple to form as habit out of all the definitions I present. Basically it means to be attentive to your woman without feeling that you have to be. Men tend to show affection and/or some form of attention after a heated discussion has taken place as to why he doesn't already. This will last until the effects of the discussion wear off, and then he's back to his normal way of response. It is in a man's nature to show real attention to and passion for those things which are most important to him. We pay attention our favorite sports although we have no obligation to the team, yet we can't pay that same degree of attention to our women just because they deserve it? I question why that is.

3. A Safe Place Without Worry: Our culture has produced women who have become strong, independent, self-sufficient, and very well capable of handling their own business and taking care of themselves, without a man to do so for her. Times have definitely changed over the past 50 years and the June Cleavers of the world are a dying breed, although they still exist, and I respectfully commend the homemakers. I say all of that to say that still, no matter how self sufficient and/or successful, every woman desires to have someone there, that she has enough trust invested in, that she can run to and find escape from the stresses of her day to day life. A quiet and serene atmosphere, equipped with dinner, a bubble bath, and a peaceful night's sleep in your arms is sometimes all that woman needs to feel safe, and without fear, anxiety, or worry.

4. A Point of "Weakness" Without Concern: Women are the strongest of all of God's creations, and we know this, rather we admit to it or not. The feminine nature has a tolerance for pain that far surpasses any level that a man can imagine. This strength is not always present in the physical sense of build and/or muscle mass. This strength is more prevalent in a woman's capabilities physically and emotionally. From child birth, to monthly menstruation, to dealing with heartache, single motherhood, and so many other things that women tend to face more often than the average man does. With that in mind, commend your woman on being strong but also be strong enough to be her point of weakness when she needs you to be. All it takes is you being there, and her knowing that no matter what she may face and/or have to be concerned with, she has a man she can run to, let her guards down with, release her weary soul into, and find refreshment with. Women thirst for men who are strong enough to handle and take care of her when she feels the need to be weak, looked after, and cared for a little more than the normal amount of "caring" on any given day.

5. Prayer Without Ceasing: I believe that a woman admires and esteems a man who knows how to pray over her, and their family if they share one together. This is neither a question of religion nor a question of the god that you may serve. This simply means that you should know how to go before the Lord in prayer for your woman and family. To simply lay your hands upon your woman's head, right before she wakes and right after she lies down to sleep, and say a soft prayer is an amazing feeling for that woman to experience. Some women have never experienced it, and therefore they won't understand this point. But there is truth to it, and once it is experienced her love for you will blossom immensely. And just a side note; for a woman to see you lay your hands upon the head of a child who was fathered by another man, who may or may not be in the picture, is a most beautiful sight to behold. For that, she will fall even deeper for you. For you to take the accountability upon yourself, before God, for a child that's not yours by the standpoint of blood, will soften that woman's heart for you to degrees I cannot even comprehend. I just know it to be true.

6. Compassion Without Question: A woman should never have to question rather or not her man has compassion for her. Compassion is not love, compassion is not "deep sex", and compassion is not sacrificial. Now compassion does involve love because it is birthed from it, but it goes beyond love, not to say that it's stronger, it's just different from it. Deep, slow, melodic sex has nothing to do with compassion, although compassion can lead you to that. Sacrifice is with reason, compassion must come without it. Compassion is a man's ability to cry with and for his woman when she's hurting. Compassion is noticing that your woman is hurting without her even telling you. Compassion is the two of you sharing such an emotional connection that God himself speaks to you concerning her well being. Compassion is having a heart that feels your woman's heart rather close or from a distance. Compassion is when you can feel that woman in your very soul, and the feeling causes you to cry because of the depth in which you understand her, and thus understand yourself.

7. Passion, Foreplay, and MorePlay: Most women, not all, require more than the act of sex to be completely satisfied. The act of sex can be a beautiful experience rather intense or soft, extreme or normal, fast or with a slower pace. The atmosphere and acts surrounding the actual intercourse mean so much more than the intercourse itself. My own personal definition of intercourse is the act if entering into a course of pleasure that will ultimately blow that woman's very mind, each and every time. When you involve passion, foreplay, and moreplay the act of sex becomes addictive to a point that she will crave you, desire you, want you, need you, and chase that ultimate high every time that she is with you. And it is your responsibility as a man to supply that high and so many others every time she shares her body with you. When a woman has sex with you she allows you to enter into her, and that in itself is a privilege that we as men take for granted. Just think about it for a moment; a woman is allowing you to enter into her. That indeed is amazing to me. Therefore you have to be passionate with and attentive to her body, utilize the elements of foreplay and stimulating all of her senses. Moreplay is simple; take her beyond your orgasm. It's selfless and not selfish. Meaning, do not let the scene conclude just because you have an orgasm. Take her further and allow her the pleasure and opportunity of sweet surrender to those sexual things unfamiliar.

8. For You To Just Listen: This is self explanatory, and so easy to accomplish yet we as men tend to have a problem mastering this act. Sometimes all your woman wants is for you to listen. Give her your ear, undivided attention, and patience as she talks with you about anything from how her day went to where she feels she is going as a woman, to where she sees your relationship headed. If more men took the time to listen to our women, we would better understand them, value them, esteem them, and our women would be much happier than they are. All it takes is you listening to her, responding when you need to or not at all if she doesn't need you to. It is possible to listen without response, and sometimes that works best. Sometimes all she needs to do is vent, so let her.

9. Responsibility Without Conflict: This one is age-old and most needed in today's relationships. Men, and I use the term loosely with this definition, have become lazy and we have become more caught up in hip hop fantasies, and video games than we are in being a responsible, hard working, and mature man. Men lack responsibility from the simplest things like taking out the trash, cutting the grass, and washing the dishes, to the more serious issues such as providing financial stability, emotional security, and taking care of your children rather you are with that woman or not. What happened to us, as men? And where have all the real men disappeared to? The men who know how and when to be aggressive. The men who know when it's time to compromise and when it's time to be immovable. The men who know how to be soft, sensitive, and attentive, but they also know how to take charge, and take care of home. Why is there a conflict between men and women when a woman questions our lack of real responsibility?

10. Love, Without Condition: Love without condition is the most powerful form of love there is. In today's society we use the word love too loosely, and we don't really mean it when we say it. Love without condition is the hardest form to master because human nature tells us to hold grudges, be unforgiving, cheat when not satisfied, and be all for self. There is no greater feeling to experience, but there is no harder emotion to develop. We tend to be too cynical and judgmental at times to develop this form of love. Love without condition overpowers our very nature in the fact that you will die for that person if you have to, and you will live for that person because you want to.

Back again for the first time...

I'd forgotten I had this blog, hence the time betwixt posts...I'm gonna try to post more stuff. I may even put some of my long lost poetry on here, and for folks that know me, that's a big step. But I hope to be more active and write down stuff...stuff that bothers me, stuff I'm happy about, just stuff that happens in my life. I read someplace that its supposed to be theraputic...LOL.